Hello!

6 thoughts on “Hello!”

1. Okay, I’ve started to read through these, and I think they’re some of the best MH fanskins I’ve ever seen.  MH skins are tough to make because each one needs to simultaneously be a teenager and a monster, and most attempts I’ve seen focus on one aspect at the expense of the other.  I think yours do a great job of balancing both.  I’ll have more detailed notes for you in a bit.

2. The Artist:

   Allegory and Vellum are both great moves.  Blue Period is also pushing at something great, but the 7-9 option seems boring.

   Ecorche and Chiarosscuro, though, both have the same problem:  That they overlap too much with “Gaze into the Abyss” and aren’t any more powerful than that basic move.  You might do better with a move that expands upon the core gaze, in the manner of the fey’s Faerie King move.

   Finally, the escape condition of the darkest self is a bit odd.  Ususally, the darkest self escape condition requires risk, sacrifice, or maturity on the part of other characters–the artist’s escape condition lacks that element.

   The Cupid:

   I really like this skin, I think it’s incredibly well thought out, that its moves interact with eachother well, and that it’s Sex Move and Darkest self are great.  I’m a little bit confused by what the “Venus” move is supposed to do, though.

   The Erinys:

   Another cool concept, and one that fits really well into the MH milieu. I’d let them chose at least one move in addition to the starting two, similar to the Witch or Selkie.

   Call to the Hunt has the problem of not having a fictional trigger.  Ditto Megaera, to a lesser extent.

   Tisiphone seems very powerful given that they’d also presumably get a +1 on the roll for acting in accordance with the condition.

   The Jinni:

   Another cool skin.  I think you’ve managed to pull of the dependence in ways that stand alongside skins like the Mortal and the Selkie while still being their own thing.  I also like that you’ve found a way to use strings in an interesting way.

   I think “On Their Shoulder” is a move that crosses lines of character control in the same way that the vampire’s hypnotize move does–and unlike the vampire’s move, this has no cost or drawback.  I’d suggest making it cost a string.

   Willing slave needs a fictional trigger more discrete than the one you’ve got.  Perhaps “When you tell someone you want to be theirs, roll with hot”

   The Mannequin:

   In terms of moves and mechanics, this skin looks good.  But it doesn’t quite “pop” as an MH skin the way your others do.  I think the problem is that MH skins are a teen archetype combined with a monster archetype, and this skin doesn’t bring the monster archetype to the fore.  It’s there in the move list but I think you could help by revising the origin options and the darkest self.

   The Phoenix:

   This, I think, has the opposite problem–I don’t see the teenager archetype.  In particular, the Phoenix tears doens’t at all touch on what makes the phoenix cry, and it circumvents the sensuality of the core healing move in ways that go against the game’s themes.  The phoenix is a creature with powers that work best when they are hurt or sad or angry–they rise from the ashes but may not be the same as they were before.  Push this skin further into those places.

   The Sphinx:

   This skin has very strong moves that point toward your vision of who the sphinx is.  I’d suggest tweaking the Guardian move so the 10+ results in a boundary that can’t be crossed, with cost to the sphinx and the 7-9 results in a boundary that can be crossed if the target pays a price.

   The Trickster:

   I like it.  I think you’ve done a very good job of brining together the various trickster threads.  Loki’s form seems a bit weak, though, especially on the 7-9.  At the very least, I’d like to see options to change apparent age.

3. Oh man, these comments are amazing! Thank you so much – it’s always great to have fresh eyes. Especially with the Mannequin and Phoenix skins: we are currently playing a game with these two and I think that’s actually made it harder to refine them, as they’re very successful with the particular characters and it’s less clear that there might be issues with the skins at a more basic level.

4. I’m off the opposite opinion that the Mannequin is all monster, no teen. Give an unexpected move (perhaps something about being a clotheshorse? “When you show off someone else’s style…”)

   I like most of these skins but the Trickster seems to have a lot of Big Powerful moves. Each one is fundamentally powerful (except Briar Patch, which is interesting.) They need higher costs. I think the Coyote has answered the space of the semi-mystical prankster, with the 2nd rail of sexual licentiousness.

   The Sphinx is fascinating; it DEFINITELY feels like a teenager from a CW show. And the riddles are very neat.

5. Are you ever going to revise these?

6. Woah dang, these are cool. Imma throw these at my group.

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