So I ran a couple of sessions of ApocWorld… slightly flavored w/ zombie apocalypse. And it was super silly, so silly in fact I couldn’t really stay true to the fiction. Fortunately we had a big RL timeskip so I started over. Now, first session I was like “Alright guys, this is AW, so I want you to keep in mind that this isn’t a ‘Party game’ like D&D or whatever, and also, I’d like to try and be a bit more serious than last time.”
Now I think most of the group is trying to do this. They’re staying in character, they’re being awesome, they’re making hard decisions. However one of the players … not so much. He basically never speaks in character, he’s aggressively dubious of the rules and setting, he interrupts other people’s scenes. He’s also kind of a friend.
I kind of feel like the healthiest thing to do to make the game fun and engaging for everyone would be to just kick him out of the group … but that’s the easy way out. Or not, since again RL friend. I feel like I’m pretty good at taking criticism. Giving it, not so much.
Any suggestions on how to broach the subject? Should I just bite the bullet and be like “Look man, you’re cool, but this game, it’s not you.” Tell him he’s harshing my ability to maintain immersion? I’m not sure any of the players are too off put by it, especially as aside from the two sessions of the previous AW none of them have played anything like this before. I just don’t know if I can run when half the time he’s implying the rules are dumb.
You talk to your friend one on one. You suggest that he isn’t really fitting in to the game system. Ask what problems he has with it, and what you can do to change it. At the least, you need to come away with a clear agreement on something changing, the game you’re running or his attitude.
It really sounds like he’s having a philosophical disconnect with AW somewhere. Find out where it is and how you can reconcile him to the game as written, and as you’re running it.
Suggest that this might be the time he takes one for the team, soldiers up and helps keep the game running for the players who are enjoying it. As an added incentive, include him in some plots, schemes, and intrigues to help give him something to have fun with.
At all costs, make sure he has fun while he is playing. There’s no better path to reconciliation than to make it fun.
These are always difficult questions to field from afar. Argumentum ad ignorantiam in one of it’s most common of incarnations.
If you have someone that isn’t clicking with your play style, then honest conversation with an agenda for mutual understanding is usually the first thing to attempt. Away from the table and group, try to have a deeper conversation about what gaming is to you, share perspectives, bring any visual aids, web pages, GNS treatises, a thesis on Frames and Bleed, or whatever you feel appropriate. Remember it is a mutual understanding that is the goal, and in order to achieve that you may need to learn and make concessions for approaching the language from different perspectives.
This can be a long process, and certainly won’t fix anything overnight. It is, in my opinion, the best first choice… but the road least often taken.
As a primer to three issues I believe you alluded to as being key problem areas, I encourage you to look at these. They won’t be complete discussions on the topics, but it may give you a reference from which to base further inquiry about these topics, and about yourself, as well as about your player.
Emergent Play: Episode 1 – Getting What You Want
Emergent Play: Episode 13 – Frames
Emergent Play: Episode 17 – Bleed
Oh… and of course this fourth one, but I suggest this in what I feel may be the best order for your needs.
Emergent Play: Episode 11 – Immersion
I would also ask Emergent Play to add anything I may have missed.
Does he think he’s having fun? That might be the question to ask. “It seems like you’re not enjoying this, am I right?”
I ask because I had a similar thing happen when I ran AW for some people used to Pathfinder. Three of them took right to it, one of them spent the whole first session complaining about, literally, everything. When I said “so it seems like you aren’t having fun,” he used it as an opportunity to politely bow out.
Let me (us, him) know if any of these help, and how…
or if they are totally irrelevant, and why…
…and maybe we will all learn something as we look for an answer that is suitable.
Hi.
What were the doubt of your friend on the rules and on the setting?
Never speak in character is not a problem for me, but something like “aggresively dubious of the rules and setting” sound like an alarm bell.
You’ve already played together in the past? There were other problems?
And with the other players? What did they think about the behavior of your friend?
I’ve already saw similar case, but i need more info.
(thank you to be patient with my english)
^_^
I’m putting this in all of my AW hacks:
When you and another player have a disagreement in playstyle, talk it out out of character like adults.
Tell him he’s welcome to choose any better game as long as he plays as the gm OR he pays cash.
The important message really being; talk it out in a courteous and benignant manner — with an honest attempt to comprehend an alternative perspective, and a willingness to compromise with all the participants that will be effected.
Most of the time it isn’t a fault in anyone, just a different way that the same effect is achieved.
This is the root of the concept “no wrong fun.”
Though it does get confused with “no right way to play.”
If you step out on a baseball field riding a horse, with a basketball, and try to make a touchdown, while everyone else is there to play cricket… well… no one is playing the soccer game that the audience expected to see right.
Still, it might be a fun game… play to find out.
X-D
And… being a friend, there is certainly no shame in helping him/her understand and achieve his/her own desires, agendas, playstyle — even if that is with another game, or some other portion of your local group.
This is also why it pays to keep contact with other local gamers, even if you all play different games. I know very few people that stick to a single playstyle, humans tend to be far more like dynamic probability waves than static state machines.
I might not enjoy football — more of an equestrian, billiards, and golf fan myself — but I have friends that I enjoy enjoying football.
…and some crossover via Blood Bowl works too. X-D
So yeah… I’m not actually sure how well that went. I really should have insisted on one-on-one rather than having the conversation with other people (albeit practically none of them are actually in the game).
Ugh. I suck at this shit.
It doesn’t mean it’s your fault if it did not go well. Actually, it may very well be his.