Hello, I’ve only recently been introduced to the monster hearts’ system and I am in love with it.

Hello, I’ve only recently been introduced to the monster hearts’ system and I am in love with it.

Hello, I’ve only recently been introduced to the monster hearts’ system and I am in love with it.  Almost instantly I wanted to make this skin, being a fan of Japanese mythology and anime.  After coming up with the idea I spend waaaaay too much time trying to match the format with the MH standard, even went nuts tracking the correct font, (Yataghan.)  *lol*

This is two skins that are related to each other, the Kitsune (fox demon) and the Beholden (their servant.)

I was reading the old lists and I hope the other person who was also making a Kitsune doesn’t mind me posting mine.  I hope you all enjoy it!

Oh, I’ve proof read it so much that my eyes are glazing over now.  I had my BF check it too.  Any input on making it more concise/clear, or even some silly grammar flags will help.  ^_^’ 

14 thoughts on “Hello, I’ve only recently been introduced to the monster hearts’ system and I am in love with it.”

  1. There’s a very good idea in the Beholden, but the way it’s written is far too specific.  As things stand the Beholden is an addiction metaphor with the Kitsune being their dealer.  This is good!  Very good!  But there should be more than one possible skin it works with – for instance they could be sustained on vampire blood, or by magic from the Witch or Infernal.  (Or if you want really twisted sustained by the skin of the Selkie in a codependent mutually loathing relationship the Mortal only dreams of).  But as things stand the Beholden is far, far too specific.  Remove all explicit mechanical references to the Kitsune or it becomes almost unusable.  There is a very good skin in there – but it needs to be teased out.

    The Kitsune I’m nothing like as happy with.  The first big problem is that you are breaking the core mechanic – the 10+ and 7-9 success levels with a 6- being a failure.  To illustrate I’d change glamour to:

    A Kitsune may change its appearance to mimic any person that they have spent time with.  When it does, roll +Hot.

    On a 10+ if a PC would notice something off you may offer them 1XP to accept you are who you say you are.  Also choose 1:

    * There is a minor but visible detail they forgot to change that gives them away to close visual scrutiny – specify what it is (eye colour, handedness, a mannerism they haven’t given up).

    * There is a major detail that gives them away, but it can be concealed from sight when the Kitsune is wearing clothes (fox’s ears under the hair, a tail under skirt or pants) and not subject to major physical contact. 

    On a 7-9 choose 2:

    * Both choices from 10+

    * You walk and move the way you would undisguised

    * You sound like yourself, not the person you imitated

    * [Some condition] that would reveal their true form to all

    If a Kitsune is spotted by a PC that PC gets +2 to Shut Them Down and give them the condition “Impostor”.  If a Kitsune is spotted by an NPC you can Manipulate them 

    For the number of tails I’d simply say “You have a number of tails equal to your dark +3”.  (Pearl of the Beholden allows you to give someone a bonus to become your Beholden, and take things from there).

    Were all Kitsune known to take the shapes of specific humans?  Because if so that fox move is too weak and can be rolled into the general shapeshifter move.

  2. Such wonderful feedback!  Thank you so much!!

    Some of my choices were made using the mythology stuff on the Kitsune.  They are mostly a trouble maker character that wants to fit in.  Most myths have them take human form to trick people.  I’m sure that you could get other forms too… but that seemed too complicated somehow.  I’m really new to the mechanics so help with numbers is really really helpful.  I’m going to take a good look at the two side by side to see the comparison.

    I like your suggestion on the beholden.  I think I’m going to take it and reword some of the details.  I think I’ll keep the name too, more romantic than the addict.  *lol* 

    I’ll post a revision as soon as I can get it done, maybe a couple days though.  I’d be grateful if you’d give me feedback again!  ^^

  3. Howdy! I’m the guy who wrote the other Kitsune Skin (unless there’s a third one floating around somewhere).

    Francis Dickinson gives some really solid advice. First of all, I’d bring the moves into line with the normal conventions as suggested. Unless you’re intentionally doing something really funky, the moves should only have three levels; 10+, 7-9. and -6.

    Also, really good moves are written as “When you [fictional action], roll + [stat].” For example, instead of saying “Make a Hot check”, say something like “When you plant a suggestion in someone’s mind…” Tell the player what they have to do fictionally instead of mechanically.

    Now onto some specific feedback.

    Personally, I’m not a fan of the gender symbols next to the names. The Look choices are good, but I feel like there are too many of them.

    Stats are generally two +1 and two -1, though there’s nothing forcing you to do that.

    I don’t really understand why you give the MC a String for them to give to an NPC. It seems overly complex. Why not just let the player designate who their enemy is?

    There’s a lot of stuff going on in Dual Nature. Can this be simplified? What’s the most important part here? Also, as there is no cost to the Kitsune (either by rolling or by spending/giving out strings) I feel the move shouldn’t be all that powerful.

    For Pearl of the Beholden, again, there’s no cost here. Why not always give the Beholden a String to have the power work? Especially if you can force another character to appear in the scene with you.

    Fox Fire is pretty complex. This is one of the moves that is too mechanical. There’s not enough fictional stuff here. You could compress this to something like:

    “You can produce magical flames of any color that burn hotter than normal fire. When you  lash out physically with them, add 1 to whatever harm you would deal normally. Maintaining them for long periods of time requires you to hold steady.”

    A lot of the stuff you’ve included in the move is already covered bu other Basic Moves.

  12. I’m more impressed by the differences 🙂  Our moves often have the same name and some overlap – but we have a very mythological take, a class clown, a pathological liar, and I think Kalysto’s is more of a deliberate deceiver.  You could actually have a game with all the Kitsune and they would all be very different characters while all being recognisably Kitsune 🙂

  13. I translated mine to give you an idea

    Name

    Inari, Mansai, Sionnach, Hermeline, Spice, Smirr

    A hot name, a far name, a fox name

    Look

    Distant, smirky, from another time, trendy

    Mocking eyes, inflexible eyes, doe eyes

    Origin :

    Orphan, compulsive liar, child of a fox, crook, don juan

    Backstory :

    You leave nobody indifferent. People must choose if they are initially trustful or suspicious of you. Trustful gain one string on you, and you gain a string on the suspicious ones.

    Sex move : when you have sex with someone trustful of you, he becomes suspicious. When you have sex with someone suspicious of you, he becomes trustful.

    Dark side : basically, expose the lies of others

    Kitsune ‘s moves : you have the first one and choose one more

    ⬢ Caught red handed : when somebody publicly accuses you, roll with Hot. 10+ : it’s a total fail and you give them a condition. 7-9 : doubt is present. You must give them a condition and/or mark experience. For every ption choosen, chose one between : you gain the « liar » condition, your dark side awakes, everyone here becomes suspicious of you. 6- : you’re caught red handed and choose 2 options in the list

    ⬡ Truth… : if you lie openly to someone trusful of you and they believe you, they gain a string on you. If they don’t believe you, they become suspicious and you gain a string on them.

    ⬡ …or lies : if you tell the full truth to someone suspicious of you and they don’t believe you, you gain a string on them. If they believe you, they become trustful and gain a string on you

    ⬡ Oracle : if someone sleeps next to you, he makes a premonitory dream and test gaze into the abyss using your Dark value. On a 10+ you’re a spectator of this dream, appearing in it as a fox.

    ⬡ Kitsunebi : when you spend a string on a PC to make them hold steady, substract your Dark from their roll. When you spend a string on a NPC to make them hesitate, give them the « terrified » condition at the same time.

    ⬡ Disappearing act : when you run away, give a string on you and leave a personal object to your pursuer to get a 11 result without rolling

    ⬡ Henge : spend a sring on someone to take his appearance for a scene and roll with Dark. 10+ : strings gained on you during this scene are gained on the impersonated one instead. 7-9 : Mc chooses between : the abyss shows the scene to the impersonated one, your disguise works fully only one trustful people, your disguise works fully only on suspicious people

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