And so as it happens, I did a thing. It’s a apocalypse-powered version of Vincent Baker’s *kill puppies for satan*.
say janet is trying to sneak into some senator’s mansion to snatch their precious alpaga bunny. senators mansions aren’t seven-eleven though so i ask janet to roll for taking the risk of alerting security, and she blows it with a 5. that means i get to fuck with janet, hard. i look down the “ways to fuck with them” list and pick “show them something bad is coming” on a whim, just to see her face. i tell her that while she was halfway through the garden, she steps on an empty can of coke with a big crushing sound. half a second later there’s a flashlight straight at her face, a harsh voice yells “you’re trespassing! don’t move!” and there’s barking and growling too and yeah, her face is worth it.
see? of course i picked something on the list and told the players because the player blew her roll; but i pretended it was because janet’s a dumb sack of meat who can never do anything right.
It’s full of typos and written by a non-native speaker, and you need the original game to make sense of it all, but here it is. I hope you like it. Feedback more than welcome.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6-IIk0dptiAa0R2MTFMNGNoREU/view?usp=sharing
A hack of a Vincent Baker’s game based on another Vincent Baker’s game? This is SO meta!
That’s, like, the bestest compliment.
(I know it’s not technically a compliment. Hush.)
Yo, I heard you liked Baker, so I put some Baker in your Baker.
Luca Bonisoli That’s putting it mildly…but yeah, this is kind of cool in an MC Escher sort of way.
Sounds like my kind of SPA!
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Holy Fuck, You Just Won The Internet.
Everybody, turn off your machines and go outside.
But print out a copy first.