And so as it happens, I did a thing. It’s a apocalypse-powered version of Vincent Baker’s *kill puppies for satan*.

And so as it happens, I did a thing. It’s a apocalypse-powered version of Vincent Baker’s *kill puppies for satan*. 

say janet is trying to sneak into some senator’s mansion to snatch their precious alpaga bunny. senators mansions aren’t seven-eleven though so i ask janet to roll for taking the risk of alerting security, and she blows it with a 5. that means i get to fuck with janet, hard. i look down the “ways to fuck with them” list and pick “show them something bad is coming” on a whim, just to see her face. i tell her that while she was halfway through the garden, she steps on an empty can of coke with a big crushing sound. half a second later there’s a flashlight straight at her face, a harsh voice yells “you’re trespassing! don’t move!” and there’s barking and growling too and yeah, her face is worth it.

see? of course i picked something on the list and told the players because the player blew her roll; but i pretended it was because janet’s a dumb sack of meat who can never do anything right.

It’s full of typos and written by a non-native speaker, and you need the original game to make sense of it all, but here it is. I hope you like it. Feedback more than welcome.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6-IIk0dptiAa0R2MTFMNGNoREU/view?usp=sharing