I’m completely stumped on the Darkest Self and still haven’t finished (or started) the front page flavor text, but here is the beta version of my first Chinese Zodiac Skin: The Rat.
I figured I’d put it up a day early and spend the next week gathering feedback (hopefully) and writing the missing pieces. There will also be an awesome character illustration by A.C. Galaga on the final version. I’m aiming to release that the last week of the month.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By0x1B37xOs2b0ItLUNMSXpxZjQ/view?usp=sharing
I like it but here are my thoughts. Make it rain doesn’t feel like the effect matches your theme. I can see the spending lots 9th money but I don’t see the connection of how that brings specific people or why a rat generally would want that. As far as the sex move, it sounds almost exactly the same as you used for another zodiac skin. I think you can keep the same structure but all three of the questions should then reflect the skin. As far as the darkest self, why not have it about blind greed. Stuff where humiliating themselves for a penny sounds like a good idea.
If I read the intent right, Buy Me Love should probably read: ‘When you give someone the perfect gift, it counts as /them/ spending a String on /you/.’
Right now it says the opposite.
Thanks for the feedback guys.
Make it Rain was a last minute addition because I felt the Skin needed another move that used Dark, David Rothfeder . Pied Piper was an alternate name for it, since you attract people, and there’s a rat connection. I’m not exactly sure why you’d want specific people to show up, but I’m sure players will think of something. I still think the Skin needs another Dark move, and I like the idea of attracting people by spending large amounts of money, but maybe it needs another effect. Removing a Condition (as the Rat is energized by being the center of attention), giving a Condition to the person you summoned (like Bought), or something else.
The Sex Move was shown off before the rest of the Skin, but it was made for the Rat. Looking at it now, it doesn’t fit. The Rat does care about adventure, excitement, and meeting new people, but I haven’t highlighted that in the Skin at all. So looking at the Skin as a whole, yes. It needs a new Sex Move. Something that cares about wealth and greed probably.
The move Buy Me Love is written as intended Abram Bussiere. When the Rat gives someone else the perfect gift, the Rat gets the effect of spending a string on them. Not the other way around. Knowing exactly what someone else considers to be the perfect gift implies you know something about and have some power over them. Just like having a String on them. The drawback of Buy Me Love is that you have to find out what the perfect gift for the person is every time you want to use it. You can’t just keep giving them the same thing over and over.
So you take the effect right then, when you give them the gift? That doesn’t seem very powerful for the difficulty involved in ‘perfect gift’.
Also, I think ‘perfect gift’ is going to be too limiting in play for a single string.
I’d suggest changing it to:
‘Whenever you give someone a gift they really want or need, gain 1 string on them’ – notably, this can open up drug dealer type situations, but that doesn’t seem entirely inappropriate for a Rat.
or if the perfect gift bit is important:
‘Whenever you give someone the perfect gift , gain 2 strings on them’.
Getting the effects of a String when giving a gift allows the Rat to couple the action with another move, like getting +3 on Manipilate an NPC. Or giving the gift can be the action, like forcing someone to hold steady or giving them a Condition. I like how that works.
I see what you’re saying about the gift needing to be perfect though. That might prove to be too restrictive. Maybe reducing the requirement to “something they really want” is the way to go.
Christopher Stone-Bush I get the point of make it rain. The result is the same as lost from the skinner in apocalypse world. I just don’t feel it fits. If your looking for something with dark, then maybe something like ‘when you blow all your money on a crowd roll dark. On a 10+ everybody who is following ends up (insert list). On a 7-9 they end up (insert list with more consequences or restrictions). On a miss your broke.’ You could scale how supernatural the move feels based on the list. Low level might include ‘drunk and horny.’ Medium might be ‘somewhere that nobody speaks the language.’ High level fuckery could be like ‘in each other’s bodies.’
For the sex move maybe work with the sneaky thieving creepy side of rats. How about something like ‘when you sleep with somebody, take something from them they won’t notice but would not wish you to have. While the item is in your possession take +1 to shut them down.
I’d find a way for the Rat to spend all those strings others get on him. Something like
“Backed into a corner: When you’ve given someone 2 or more strings on you, take a +1 to shut them down. If you already have a condition from this playbook, they can’t give you another one.”
I hadn’t thought about a move where the Rat does something with the Strings other people have on them Adam Goldberg. That deserves more thought.
Thinking about what the Rat would do with lots of money David Rothfeder, an idea I had before was something like “shopping therapy”; spend a lot of money and possibly get to remove a Condition. The group thing you’ve suggested is pretty cool.
Maybe the Sex Move needs to be something like:
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“When you have sex with someone, they secretly tell the MC if they have feelings for you, or if they’re just doing it because of your money. Then you choose one:
– pay them for their services;
– tell them you have feelings for them.
If you pay someone who has feelings for you, you gain the Condition [Something]. If you tell someone who only wanted your money that you have feelings for them, you gain the Condition Gullible.
\\\\\
Basically, the Rat is either a jerk and tries to pay off someone who actually likes them, or confesses their feelings to someone who is only using them.
Seems too directly prostitutish. How about:
“When you have sex, ask if they’re doing it for your money or yourself. If it’s your money, they get a string on you. You may pay them off and get a string on them.”
I don’t have a problem with it being directly prostitutish. I’m envisioning the Rat expecting people to only be interested in them for their money. Maybe I could roll in something that gets rid off all those Strings on the Rat. How about:
/////
“When you have sex, tell the other person if you have feelings for them or not. They’ll tell you the same thing.
If you both have feelings for each other, you both lose all Strings against the other person. Otherwise they take a String on you, and you can pay them off. You take a String on them if you do.
/////
I figured that if both people like each other, they kind of get a clean slate. Hopefully this will push the Rat into pursuing people who most often abuse them with Show Me the Money.
I think the direction your heading with this sex move will only be interesting in the first hook up. That isn’t always a bad thing.
In some cases, I think a Sex Move that is only interesting the first time you hook up with someone is what you want.
I agree. I was just pointing this out so you could think about if this is one of those cases. If it is I think it’d be more interesting if the move was a doozy. Make that first hook up really impactful.
I gotcha. I tried to simplify things a bit and ended up with this:
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When you have sex with someone, they choose:
– both of you lose all Strings you had on each other;
– they tell you three things that would make perfect gifts.
If they tell you about the gifts and you don’t deliver one of them right then, you gain the Condition Something.
/////
I would broaden up the 2nd option. How about they tell you ‘3 things they must own.’ It would allow for a bit more leeway for the npc to objectify people or concepts. In MH I just never like denying a character an opportunity to be creepy.
I’m all for being creepy. 😀 I worded the Sex Move so that it specifically interacted with the Buy Me Love move. Abram Bussiere mentioned that providing someone with a perfect gift might be a steep price, so I figured this was a way to lessen the cost a bit.
Maybe it could be simply “They tell you three perfect gifts”. That would leave the door open for players to be creepy with what they named.
I see the interaction there, I just don’t like the on the nose wording.