Author: Nikita K.

I noticed, that mcsheet does not containt revolution in threat type list. If you are going to edit mcsheet, it would be great if you’d add mc moves for all threat types.

I have carefully read the hack and conducted a trial session last Sunday (the party consisted of tainted, dragon, hunter and immortal). It was cool and we enjoyed it and I think we are going to make it a full campaign (and most likely that it’s not going to be a single one). The style is well seasoned and concentrated which helps to set up the proper mood even if you haven’t been acquainted or interested in urban fantasy before like me.

I could make compliments for pretty long, but let’s talk about the parts which can be improved.

First of all, the previous option of joining a theme group instead of leading it as it is now seems more interesting to me: it can be interpreted in different ways, while leading could be a separate quest.

Second if we leave it as it is now the unique role of the King and his band appears questionable. Probably it’d be better to single out the receipt of the gang as a separate item out of the moves as it is in classic AW, to write it down near the workshop rules while the King would be given special options for gang management? For example, he could be given the chance to take a new gang option every time he chooses an advance “a new King move” or you could add a couple more advances concerning gang development. Probably he could be given a gang management move so that he could do something that others can’t or he could have been given a move that is similar to Rally of Sergeant from Regiment hack?

By the way, talking about workshops: the advance that is giving the workshop to 6 out of 14 characters is decreasing the originality of Expert. I would have singled out workshop from moves as a separate item, just like the gang and would have given the Expert something that would sound like «When you go into your workspace and dedicate yourself to a task, decide what and roll+mind. On 10+, choose 2, on 7-9 choose 3, on a miss choose 4. MC still might connect them all with “and,” or might throw in a merciful “or” as a basic move, if you succeed mark experience.» This way the Expert will be able to control his research more than others.

The Immportal seemed have little bit diffusive style comparing to other characters. He barely has any really attractive moves that underline his personality. Probably he could have been given an analogue of Bardic Lore from Dungeon World and pick complementary knowledge areas on advances. It would have underlined the fact that he is very old, had seen a lot and had plenty of time to study the picked area really deeply.

The Vampire has confused me with lack of mechanical obligation of drinking blood. Probably this move should include some kind of an obligation which would force him to do so?

The item of “Reduce an injury they are about to suffer by one step” appeared a bit weir to me. Do I understand it correctly when I say that it lets me cure a person, who owes me, forgiving him his debt? There is inner logiс in it, but it decreases the undesirability of being a debtor. I can easily imagine the situation when two players who play on one side exchange the debts between each other to have a chance to cure each other. Or it was supposed to be so? I’d rather change it to “Increase an injury you are inflicting on them by one step” or remove it.

Last, the last playbook esign version which had been released a couple of days ago seemed less convenient than previous one. Corruption advances were perceived easier when they had been placed in 1 column.

Anyway—it’s a great job and many thanks for the hack! Hope my ideas can be useful to you.