On tonight’s episode of World Wide Wrestling, we proved, once and for all that Anime is Real.
Tonight’s competitors:
Mac “Tonight” Johnson
The Shooto Fighter, known for power, speed, and aggression
Bruce “The Bear”
The Monster, lumbering monster of a man, possibly the most aggressive animal in these united states
Kyoto Kitten
A Clown dressed in Cat Ears and Maid Uniforms with the drive to unite everyone together through friendship and
and “Anaconda” Glory.
The rebellious Anti-Hero who is getting tired of all this absolute nonsense.
Written Proudly by: Adam Goldberg
They gathered in the ring to settle who is the best in the Framingham, Massachusetts at making their foes eat canvas.
Starting off with Anaconda versus Kyoto Kitten.
It started off simple, with Anaconda calling out the ludicrousness of Kyoto’s gimmick and calling her by her actual name.
Kyoto confronted her in character which lead to the audience turning on her, and leaving her disheartened in the match.
In the ring, Anaconda started hard with several blows to Kyoto Kitten’s head, followed up by tossing her cat ears into the crowd.
Outraged, confused, and unable to maintain composure and comedic timing with her costume being exposed, she lost control
and socked Anaconda clean in the face, no acting here.
Anaconda tossed in a clean kick to Kyoto’s gut. Here there is no wrestling: Only Blood.
The Bear interceded, realizing the lack of professionalism in the ring. Anaconda won, and Kyoto slid away out of sight to get her costume piece.
There holding it was a small child who called out to her hoping for support “Anime is Real!” and Kyoto, hesitant, and after a steady pause, tossed a half-hearted thumbs up.
Dragged back stage, Kyoto and Anaconda shouted out their disdain for each other, Bear realizing we were both being ridiculous and then going to the cameras.
Anaconda successfully called me out on my nonsense, while Kyoto realized the racist ridiculousness of shoving a japanese person into being the stereotypical “DESU NEEE” anime
hole, causing an impromptu match to happen back stage. Kyoto dove in to tie up the NPW, but looked foolish doing it, costing her even more points with the crowd.
Then Mac and Bear were calling each other out backstage, and Mac demanded it be a Cage match, 2 men enter, one man leaves.
Mac and Bear tore deep into each other, crawling over the cage and walls, Bear showing his animal strength, and Mac unleashing his devastating double power ball.
Bear though, through sheer tenacity and animal fury, won out over the well-oiled fighting machine, showing you can never truly cage a ferocious animal.
Meanwhile, then the cameras wheeled backstage. First with Bear, claiming his victory over Mac, with Mac standing vengeful and ready, but due to extraneous circumstances
could not participate in the rest of the episode. Anaconda continued her berating of Kyoto’s gimmick, and calling out that “some people can’t handle the truth”.
Kyoto, sat in her office, broken, disoriented, confused, and angry starting at those cat ears that caused her so much trouble and indignation.
In the cut for the TV audience, you heard over and over again, the voice of the child echoing in her mind, she dug through fan-mail and photos from her performances.
Realizing deep down, the impact she had on all these people, she arranged them all on her cork board in her tiny trailer three simple words – “Anime is Real”.
The interviewer stepped in, and she gave an empassioned speech, turning Face to the camera, and asking America to join together in the cry and the belief in friendship,
in justice, in the simple fact that “Anime Is Real!”
This was one of the Epic Results for the evening. It went viral. The entire circuit was redefined by this singular cult phenomenon of anime and innocence.
Anaconda called it out as cheap heat and there’s better things to spend your time on, and Bear challenged all of us to a 3-way match to disprove this nonsense and show
the ferocity at the heart of the ring, and bringing us into the woods with a TRAIL TO HELL. All of our other wrestlers wait outisde of the ring, pouncing on anyone who dare leave the ring.
Anaconda entered, Keeping up her relationship with the crowd, fistbumping passersby, maintaining her cool and cynical demeanor.
Kyoto, entered through a passage way of cascading rainbow lights and glitter, a crescendo of J-Pop, and just as she was transformed, so was her costume
into this shining, elegant, Sailor Moon-esque outfit, with her shining scepter as a symbol for all to rally behind the call that “Anime Is Real”.
Bear, the howling force barged into the ring, and as he walked in, we saw the NPW’s rise from the shadows, armed and waiting. We were in the woods, and Bear was at home.
Kyoto took control and called out to everyone calling for them to stand together, as Americans, as humans, as part of the collective of people who hoped and prayed for a better
world, to believe in Anime, and to use that strength to help her take down th-
Bear interrupted her monologue with a mean side-swipe, and chucked her with his mass into the corner, leaving it up to just Bear and Anaconda.
They tossed move after move at each other. Bear using his strength and shoving her around the ring, all leading up to Anaconda seizing control by tripping him up and elbow slamming him
super hard onto the mat, grabbing Kyoto Kitten from her resting corner and spine dropping her onto bear, just “piling up the trash”.
Kyoto woke up, rolled off of Bear, and toyed with Anaconda, playfully doing the “left-right-left-right you can’t see me I’m behind you” trick, while playfully making wacky
expressions for the crowd, all leading up to a coy shove and sitting on top of her, and declaring a cute dominance.
Anaconda had none of this and pushed her off, retaking a proper stance. However, Kyoto had to keep her part going, and held strong, becoming properly Tsundere and shouting at her
countless times, never losing breath “idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot”, while drilling deep into her with a thousand kicks and stomps, never letting up in her sheer anime rage and disrespect
from not being able to take a joke and have any fun in the ring, until finally, she drew in the crowd to help her defeat Anaconda with the power of friendship visa vis her magical wand
and her “FRIENDSHIP BLAST”. Just before she could heal the wounds between Anaconda and her, Bear regained his composure and flung Kyoto Kitten to one end of the ring,
and Anaconda landed in the wilderness of NPWs. There she intimidated them, told them to “F— off”, which enraged a local parent. Anaconda egged her on, causing the angry mom
to go onto the mat and lay into her for “cussin in front of my daughter”.
Bear, realizing that he had to keep the crowd focused on the match, brought attention back to the stage. After a surge of aggression from Bear, laying into Kyoto with his meaty fists
4, 5, even 6 times, the Creative realized it was Kyoto’s time to win the match.
As she lay on the canvas, she gave Bear the most tender look of “How could you? What monster would do this?” and ridden by guilt, he slumped over, and she offered her forgiveness to him,
and showed him what friendhsip could do the only way she they knew how: WRESTLING. Channeling a Friendship Blast via well done lighting and crowd performance, just as the lights reached
their glittery peak she did a sliced bread 2 and cemented it.
However, Anaconda, bucking the ludicrous wrestling system, couldn’t take it and dragged herself into the ring and tried to pin own Kyoto.
Kyoto, having none of thus, slid out from under her and did a stylish push over maneuver, which Bear capitalized on, pinning Anaconda, and allowing Kyoto the win.
Hoisted onto Bears shoulder, they built a new space in the ring for justice, friendship, and Anime.
Anaconda knew though it was nonsense, and bullcrock. Knowing that she can make this real and what wrestling is supposed to be and promised to fight on, but she never could realize
the simple truth that was unveiled in the ring: Anime Is Real.