I had the pleasure of kicking off our new WWW RPG game on Saturday at a friend’s party, co-GMing with Wayne Wyant. Here’s the results!
Following is a partial transcript of the 6/14 edition of the “Chairshot!” wrestling podcast, hosted by Scott Ramsey and Gordon Wallis.
WALLIS: …which is the only time a steel chair has ever been declared a special referee. I looked it up.
RAMSEY: Amazing. And now it’s time to see what is happening with the indies! The internet is on fire about the Tacocon PPV from Solid Steel Wrestling last night, and, uh, well, it’s the Internet so we managed to find ourselves a copy of the show to watch, and…wow. I haven’t been following this promotion before now, but I think I better start, if only to see what happens in response to what the Internet Wrestling Community is calling “the Anvil Drop”. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I had a Skype call with a fan who was at the show. Here’s what he had to say about the dark match:
FAN: The dark match was pretty good, Mike St. James verse a local guy called Detroit Dynamite. Mike don’t get a lot of credit anymore but the guy’s a former champion, it was good to see him win for a change even if it was against a local. I thought for sure they were going to have him job to the DD when he got hit with a powerbomb, but he kicked out of the cover and actually came back with a burning hammer for the win!
WALLIS: I doubt that was a Kobashi-style Burning Hammer, nobody lets their wrestlers do that anymore for safety reasons, but it sounds like a hell of a match.
RAMSEY: It sure got the crowd pumped up for the first actual match of the show: Mick Fatu, the Samoan Superman vs. a relative newcomer calling himself “Mr. Showtime”.
WALLIS: Fatu’s got a lot of experience in the ring- he was a sure thing to be on the Olympic team for American Samoa in 2012 before his injury – but this Showtime kid has got the look and the attitude to make a great heel. You could practically see the arrogance coming off of him.
RAMSEY: The highlight of the match was this series of amazing suplexes, three in a row. I can’t believe anyone walked away from that, let alone be able to deliver an elbow drop later. Fatu powered out of that and managed to pull the match out at the last minute. But what about afterwards? He offers Showtime a hand, and Showtime pulls him into a reverse lungblower!
WALLIS: He should have pulled that out a little earlier in the match, it might have turned the tide.
RAMSEY: Next up was The Tarantula versus H.P. Bonecrunch. Let me tell you, Bonecrunch is an absolute monster. I thought he was going to destroy that little guy.
WALLIS: He did.
RAMSEY: Well, Wallis blew the end of the match, but Tarantula put up a hell of a fight. He was more like one of those…what’s the ones that can jump?
WALLIS: Wolf spiders.
RAMSEY: Those. The match was fought under blacklight, and there was some kind of glowing slime covering the ropes, but he didn’t let it stop him. The big guy wasn’t fast enough to keep up with his ranas, the tornado DDT…Tarantula spent most of the match in the air.
WALLIS: Especially when Bonecrunch unleashed the “Pound of Tindalos” on him. Brutal. Absolutely brutal.
RAMSEY: We also got to see Mr. Showtime again, with this podcast’s favorite move:
BOTH: CHAIRSHOT! (SFX: steel chair impact)
RAMSEY: He dropped Tarantula, took some cheap shots at the local crowd, and then teamed up with Bonecrunch for a—what would you call that? a flying stunner?
WALLIS: Flying stunner, midair stunner. Bonecrunch threw Tarantula at the kid and Showtime pulled him right out of the air.
RAMSEY: Pretty sure that was the beginning of the end for the bug.
WALLIS: A Tarantula’s not a bug, it’s an arachnid.
RAMSEY: Up next was the ladies’ division…
* * *
WALLIS: …I just think that Nash should focus more on his wrestling instead of on looking like the cover for a cowboy romance novel.
RAMSEY: Well, the female fans seem to like it, even if Nash and Axton weren’t able to capture the tag team title from the Mighty Andersons.
WALLIS: Now is it time?
RAMSEY: Yeah. It’s time to talk about the main event. Fans are calling this “the Anvil drop”. Gordie, you did some research on this, right?
WALLIS: Yeah. It seems like Solid Steel Champion Joe “The Anvil” Pasternak’s contract is about to expire, and he doesn’t want to stay with the company anymore.
RAMSEY: He’s had quite a reign, hasn’t he?
WALLIS: 588 days, which is a record for this promotion and pretty impressive overall for the modern era. And of course this isn’t the first time he’s held the title either. Anyway, everyone expected the title to pass to John Drake, the #1 contender, before Pasternak put him out of the ring and onto a stretcher and had this to say to the fans, the rest of locker room, and the new management:
PASTERNAK: You know, I’ve held on to this title for five hundred and eighty eight days. I’ve defended it fourteen times against punks like John Drake who thought they were good enough to win against the Anvil. They were all wrong. And now that my contract is ending, I don’t see anyone that’s even close to good enough to beat me. I’m not going to lay down and swallow my pride and let some no-talent schmuck take this away. So guess what, Mr. New Management? I think I’m going to take this title with me. And since your #1 contender is being wheeled out of here on a stretcher, there’s not a whole lot you can do to stop me.
RAMSEY: Wow. According to rumor sites, Pasternak’s contract stipulates that he can only lose the title in a match, so they can’t even strip him of it by executive action. It has to be in a singles match, and of course as a championship it has to be by pinfall or submission.
WALLIS: He’s been with the promotion for years, so that’s some impressive foresight. I wonder just how long he’s been planning this?
RAMSEY: Well, I’m not sure how they’re going to keep the title inside the promotion, but we’ll keep you up to date with what’s going on with Solid Steel Wrestling and all the other indies, right here on Chairshot! (SFX: steel chair impact)
WALLIS: Don’t forget to subscribe at http colon slash slash chairshot dot…
