It’s been a while since I’ve worked on this but here is my latest version The Awakened, who is the kid that wants to grow up too fast and rails against the limitations of their body and society, not understanding that the laws and such in place are really there for their protection. I should maybe do more with that last part. Anyway, I’d love to hear what you think- what you like, what you don’t like, what you might wanna see- or how it goes if you playtest!
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxDSdw0nHQqKV1JzWjdBR21ubDg/view?usp=sharing
What’s the monster metaphor?
Also, I’d give the “violent/dangerous ritual” core move status.
Thanks Adam Goldberg !
Like I said, this is the kid who wants to grow up too fast, who feels constrained by the limits of society (having a curfew, not being able to vote, etc.) and their lack of control over their own body. (I should do more about that maybe somehow.) This is the kid who doesn’t understand that there are measures in place to protect them not to hold them back. I hope that makes sense. Not sure the metaphor translates very well in their Moves…
I get that, Dani, but what’s the MONSTER?
Is it this the villager telling everyone to go burn Frankenstein? If so, how can you incentive dangerous behavior?
Yes. This is the person who will do that, who will start riots and attempt to get people to join them on occasionally misguided, hasty, dangerous quests to break free of their constraints.
And that is a good question, I will consider ways to do that.
I’ll echo Adam Goldberg in saying that I don’t see a monster here. I’m not saying there isn’t one here, but I feel Monsterhearts Skins are strongest when the monster-as-teenager metaphor is clear. I think the Awakened needs to be monstered up.
Darkest Self
If I was playing the Awakened, I wouldn’t know what to do here. “Making a statement” is very vague. I would like to see some more direction here.
Sex Move
Why would the Awakened ever say having sex with someone was a mistake? This feels very similar to The Chosen’s sex move, but without any teeth. The Chosen is mechanically encouraged to sleep with almost anyone (because they’re healed of all harm and conditions), leading to situations where they may disgust themselves. But as the Awakened is choosing to sleep with someone, I can’t see a situation where they would ever say it’s a mistake, especially if they are mechanically punished for saying so.
Why not let the partner decide if having sex was a mistake? Or flip the mechanical results?
Attention Seeker
This feels like the Hocus’s move from Apocalypse World. I also don’t think the choices fit. “When you inspire a crowd to action” is very broad and generic, but the first two results are very specific. I would reword the trigger so that the crowd bringing forth people/things makes more sense. Or rework the results so they are less specific.
Learning Experience
This seems really really broad. Abusable too, since it grants XP.
Inspirational Figure
If the Awakened is about inspiring people to action, I’d change this. Only have the move triggers if other people ask the Awakened for advice.
Ritual
I think this move needs to be reworded. As is, the player doesn’t get any benefit for their 7-9 roll on Gaze into the Abyss. It needs to say something like “the visions are clear, but someone witnessed your act of vandalism/destruction”.
Channel the Abyss
I’m not a fan of how open this move is. It also needs to be rewritten so that a 7+ is a success. Otherwise all you’re getting on a 7-9 is a consequence. Which could be as intended. Performing miracles is hard work. But I feel the player should get something for their effort on a 7-9 result.
I’m actually seeing a monster there. The Mary Sue.
Currently working on an update, thanks all for the input. I really appreciate it. I’ve gotten some good feedback elsewhere as well. I hope the revisions will bring out the monster and teenager within this and also make it closer to what I want it to be.