Hey guys! Working on a one-shot for a convention and I was wondering if you guys would mind taking a look at this handout we’re (my husband and I) planning to give to the players and give me some feedback. It will be in a folder for each player along with other necessary reference sheets
~ Is it clear and concise enough for new players?
~ Could anything be explained better?
~ Am I over-explaining anything?
~ Any other comments on this introductory sheet?
Sounds more Dungeon World than Monsters of the Week….
Mark Tygart I’ll be honest, I’ve never played or looked at the system for Dungeon World. The idea is still that they are a more modern monster-hunting team, just pulled into the Unknown from Over the Garden Wall (the convention is a Western Animation convention). A lot of the edits are to ensure everything works in the setting. If its the picture and intro paragraph on page one that concerns you, that’s actually just a nod to Samurai Jack I’m hoping some of the players will get a kick out of.
Jenny Taylor MotW works well with the occasional expedition into another dimension; but for traditional D&D fantasy Dungeon World has better mechanics.
Mark Tygart So, all that being said, should I mention that the team is supposed to be from present day Earth? Would that be helpful?
Jenny Taylor I would certainly say yes and use that in play in a fun way. Maybe let them keep some modern weapons?
Jenny Taylor “In the final two episodes, it is revealed that Wirt and Greg are actually two boys from the modern era. Wirt and Greg’s strange appearance stems from the fact that the night they entered the Unknown was Halloween. Wirt, attempting to take back an embarrassing poetry tape he made for a girl he likes, had followed her to a graveyard scary story gathering before a police officer scared him and Greg into jumping over the cemetery’s garden wall. On the other side of the wall, they landed on train tracks where Greg was almost hit by a train. Wirt pushed them both off a hill into a lake/river in an attempt to save him, knocking them both unconscious in the process and sending them to a Limbo-like realm between life and death.”
Mark Tygart Are you… saying I should add that to the sheet? Because that’s a bit wordy. I feel like I can add the information that they are from modern day without explaining the ending of OtGW
As far as modern weapons go I really only took away guns and flamethrower. The Golf Club/Baseball Bat/Cricket Bat/Hockey Stick , Nunchuks, and Sledge Hammer/Fire Ax are still in play. They can also have modern items, (I was going to explain the Expert having the library Havens by having them have an e-book library on a smart phone or laptop) I just didn’t feel guns and flamethrowers would fit for the setting.
I guess my main concern is new player accessibility. I’m going to go over some things verbally, but I’m trying to make sure visual learners have an in here and that everyone has a reference to look at if they get a little lost (hence the bolded items)
Jenny Taylor Player accessibility may be aided from the characters coming from the modern world. As for weapons I like “golf club” instead of club. Personally I would make it more mysterious with players stumbling into the world and the quest to be to get home. This is just me, you sound like you know what you want to do, maybe just a little nervous? Don’t be!
Mark Tygart The quest is to get home as implied in the paragraph on page one, and the players do come from the modern world which, yes, is information I probably need to add. I know what I want to do and have the mystery very much planned out based on various paths the players could take to reaching their goal. This is not the Mystery Sheet, this is a handout for the players who will be at the convention. When I say “Player Accessibility” I mean whether my sheet is going to be helpful for newcomers to the game, whether it will be an aid to help them understand what is going on.
edit: sorry, bold was supposed to be italics. tone was not meant to be antagonistic
Jenny Taylor You should note that these are PtbA rules and combat is dangerous.
Jenny Taylor Also you should note the need to find the monster’s weakness to kill it if you use that.
Mark Tygart
Okay so… you do realize that this is JUST a primer so that new player to MoTW for this one-shot won’t be completely lost. It’s not a mystery sheet, it’s not a playbook, it’s not a manual, it’s JUST a primer so that a new player can have a basic idea of what MoTW is after a five minute read.
The Samurai Jack reference is to get a laugh out of someone before they move onto the nitty gritty details, and the setting of Over The Garden wall is the SETTING of this ONE-SHOT. This is NOT a campaign she’s running, just a one shot that’s suppose to be done in at most four hour.
With all this in mind, you are literally the LEAST helpful person right now as you are assuming that Jenny has never played MoTW (spoilers, she has. I had a great time playing in Linda’s one-shot), or hasn’t seen Over The Garden Wall. (spoilers again, we have, we love it, and that’s what inspired Jenny to do this one-shot in the first place). So either actually read the god damned thing, or move on.
Jonathan Taylor Just trying to help at her request, no need for insults. Jenny, if I’ve offended you please let me know.
Jonathan Taylor As opposed to being upset with me why not give her some helpful input to make up for my lack of it?
Mark Tygart Sorry, I asked him not to be antagonistic when I found out he was commenting. To be completely honest, most of what you’ve said hasn’t been terribly helpful and seemed to indicate you either hadn’t read the sheet or hadn’t read my ask and assumed it was a Mystery Sheet, and I really wasn’t sure whether your rundown of the origins of Wirt and Greg were a suggested addition to explain that the characters were modern day, or if you thought I hadn’t done my research, so yes, I was inclined to be insulted if it was the latter.
Obviously there was a miscommunication as you thought I wanted suggestions on how to edit the mystery itself, and not the handout. I have incorporated a couple more lines to explain both the era hunters should be from and the age range I think works best for the team, so thank you for that suggestion.
Jenny Taylor i’m sorry I wasn’t very helpful. I’ve fallen into a pattern of trying to encourage newbie Keepers which in your case was silly; since you are a veteran. If you review my text I think you will find I was trying to be encouraging at least. I also obviously misunderstood the document for some reason, so I accept my comments were poor if well intended. That being said i was the only one who responded, intended to help and the result should not be Johnathan bullying me. I have a hard time understanding that.
Mark Tygart His intent was not to bully. He saw how frustrated I was getting, his hackles got raised and he went into protective mode. I had essentially given up on the conversation and he choose to say what I wouldn’t, but more aggressively because he felt his wife was being insulted. Again, I am sorry, I asked him not to antagonize.
Full disclosure, I’ve played Monster of the Week, but have not yet been a Keeper. I have multiple playtests planned to iron out the one-shot before the convention. I’m confident in the mystery I’ve designed so far and figure I can iron out details in playtest. I just needed people to look over the sheet to make sure I was being clear for the sake of new players. My biggest frustration was that this point was misunderstood and that there are so many comments in this thread now that people are likely to assume I have all the help I need. This frustration was an add on to frustration over the fact that in the other place I asked for assistance on this my request was buried, so I’ve had little to no luck in this department. I’ve resorted to having friends with no knowledge of MotW look over the sheet which sigh may be for the best since that’s who I’m trying to cater to anyway.
sigh I really didn’t want this to turn into such a huge ordeal
Jenny Taylor Honestly, I tried to help and really regretful I failed due to lack of focus, I suspect, due to my own personal problems. I am sure your event will go well , you have obviously have a strong grip on an atypical mystery, something convention players often love. You know Michael’s advice in the rulebook is simply the best, I often turn to it when I’m nervous about a game. Just think about the game (and how much fun it is!) and how lucky you are to have a husband who cares and forget everything else!
Hi, Jenny! You seem to be on top of this, but here be some input, as requested…
Re: 1st Q: Yes, I think it’s very clear, especially given that you’re addressing convention goers.
Re: 2nd Q: Minor nitpick: I think changing “your team” to “your hunter team” or “your team of hunters” (or something else along those lines) in the opening blurb might be better. It was the only thing that gave me pause (wait, team? What team?). But I stress: this is a nitpick, as my question was answered in the very next paragraph.
Re: 3rd Q: Seems clear, concise and earnest. Only thing that jumped out at me was the repetitiveness of “please,” but this is another YMMV nitpick.
Re: 4th Q: I preface this comment by saying I’ve run a few PbtA one-shots. The only thing that’d worry me about your scenario is Experience gain. Will there be enough of it to matter? In my… (cough) experience… one-shots usually don’t provide enough room to adequately scratch the advancement itch. However, I’ve had good results by awarding a “boon token” every time experience is marked. The expenditure of a token allows for the re-roll of one (1) die. This tweak allows the fundamental idea of learning thru failure to still be represented, even if the constraints of the one-shot prevent characters from advancing much (if at all).
I think the first time I encountered the basic idea was in Funnel World? (in which most PCs die too fast to accrue Experience.) 😉
In this particular instance, it might also offer incentive for players to not immediately burn through their quite limited Luck pool.
Just some food for thought. Regardless, based on what you’ve presented, I’d be jazzed to sit down and play.
Thank both of you for your encouragement and critique The Necrophidian I’ve edited the first paragraph somewhat and taken out a couple ‘pleases’ (you’re right, it really sounded like a bad intercom routine XD) and we’re probably going to try your experience idea on one of our playtests ^_^
Jenny Taylor Yay! Glad I was useful. Good luck with it!
A couple more nitpicks, if this is still relevant/helpful:
1) Are you hoping to have players narrate their actions and for the Keepers to tell them if a roll is required? Given that some folks might be coming from dnd, where ‘i want to do a x check’ is pretty commonplace and the preponderance of rules lawyers
(myself included sometimes….), I might use stronger language that Keepers calling for rolls isn’t just guidance on rules, but a gameplay preference.
2) SUPER nitpicky: for a new player, I might just add a comma after the bolded “take a move from another playbook” to emphasize that it’s a term and not part of that sentence.
Good luck!!