Author: Isaac Sher

Well, the rumble has come and gone.

My wife Gretchen and I gave it a 6 out of 10. It would’ve been a seven, but Roman Reigns coming in at 30 and the very blah finish downgraded it.

Having RR be the one to eliminate Undertaker was a bad idea, unless they want to turn RR heel, and we know that they won’t do that right now.

Orton as the overall winner is… dull. Cena/Orton is a match we’ve seen dozens of times before, and that’s not a match that’s going to sell Wrestlemania tickets or PPV buys. I’m sure they’ll put on a decent match, but unless that main event gets some other bodies in there (Cena/Styles/Orton triple threat?) or spice it up in some other way, I’m already halfway checked out on the idea.

The Goldberg/Lesner storyline was handled well. Kudos to them for that. Those two as one of the top-billed matches at Wrestlemania will be a lot of fun.

I LOVED seeing Jack Gallagher as a surprise entry, and the spots with his umbrella were great, but I’m also disappointed that we didn’t see anyone else from the Cruiserweight division. TJ Perkins could’ve used the exposure, and a cunning heel like The Brian Kendrick always works well in this format. Hell, bring in Cedric Alexander for some crowd-pleasing highflying, why don’tcha?

One other major complaint was that the ring got too crowded. There was a long middle stretch where no one was getting shoved out, even when powerhouses like Cesaro and Rusev came in, and a crowded rumble ring always cramps everyone’s style. It wasn’t as stifling as I’ve seen in other years, but still a down point overall.

Mark Henry and Big Show both got eliminated too early. Giving both of them a little more time to flex in the ring, brawling with Braun, would’ve been a good idea.

Nice to see Tye Dillinger come in at number 10. It’s an easy gimmick entry, but a good one, and he looked good in there, looking just as capable as anyone else in there with him at the time — hell, he looked better than Mojo Rawley, whose presence on the main roster still baffles me, because Mojo hasn’t done a single thing to pierce through the veil of indifference I have about him. I don’t hate him, he just bores me, and for a wrestler, that’s actually worse than being hated.

Your thoughts, fellow fans?

Okay, wrestling fans, I need suggestions.

I have a friend coming over tonight who is interested in learning more about wrestling, but hasn’t really enjoyed much about wrestling before this. I don’t know specifically what she has and hasn’t watched.

If I were to give this person a primer on Royal Rumbles, what would be a good RR match to show her? 1992 and “It’s Not Fair To Flair”? 2001? Some other year, perhaps?

Are there any other matches you would suggest I show her as a general “wrestling 101”?

If the match you’re suggesting isn’t on the WWE network, then I’ll need specific youtube or other video links.

Thanks in advance!

Some thoughts on the WWE Cruiserweight Division:

I really, really like Mustafa Ali. Of all the people to get knocked out of the first round of the CWC, he impressed me more than anyone, and I was extremely glad to see him get signed. Even better, I love how he was able to use his hometown-hero status with the Chicago crowd to fuel a full-fledged face turn, deliberately defying the easy trope of “comes from a predominantly Muslim country = Heel” gimmick. I love that forward-roll-through-the-ropes neckbreaker, and that reverse 450 he did was quite a sight. I really hope he continues to get solid TV time on 205 Live.

I feel so bad for TJ Perkins. He had so much charisma and personality in the CWC, and he really felt like a deserving champion. Then when he showed up on Raw, he was written as the most bland and uninspiring “aw shucks just glad to be here” face champion — and all that spark was just gone. You could see it in his eyes, something must have happened. I love how he moves in the ring, and when he’s on, he’s got personal magnetism approaching that of Shinsuke Nakamura. Let’s be clear, he’s not THAT charismatic, but he’s definitely approaching it, working towards that level.

The Brian Kendrick has been a lot of fun. He makes a great heel, he moves well, and I think he made for a solid heel champion to pursue. The pirate thing is a little odd, because he doesn’t quite commit to it all the way, but maybe that’s a good thing. I do think that “The Captain’s Hook” is a better name for his finisher than “The Bully Choke”, though.

Rich Swann is solid in the ring, but I don’t quite buy him as the champion. If there was a cruiserweight version of the IC belt, he’d be perfect for that, but as the top guy? Not so much. I want to see his persona develop a bit more, although I will say that using his past real life friendship with Neville has helped fuel his current feud well. And speaking of…

Neville has been a revelation these last few weeks. Completely underutilized on the main roster ever since he came up from NXT, he has totally found his place as the “monster” heel of the Cruiserweights. The new look has given him a fierceness he lacked, he plays heel so deliciously well, and he’s as great in the ring as ever. The only downside is that we don’t see the Red Arrow as much now, since that’s more of a face-style crowdpleaser move, but that’s a minor complaint.

TAJIRI! Oh man, he was one of my consistent favorites during the attitude era, and I am so, so happy to see him get another run now. He looks great, he moves well, and he’s got that great body language going like before. A nostalgic favorite, sure, but he’s earned his current respect. I’d love to see him get into a match with no rope-breaks, where he can just slap on the Tarantula and make someone tap out to it when he doesn’t have to let go after four seconds.

Drew Gulak and Tony Nese sort of fill the same niche — enhancement heels that are just enough of a threat to make a victory over them mean something, and they get just enough wins (like they both got tonight) to keep them as a credible threat. They’re already evil-buddies on the show now, so I do hope that at some point, they get to be an established tag team or unit in some way, maybe the start of a heel stable, and go on to even bigger heel things — maybe as lieutenants to Kendrick or Neville or something.

Cedric Alexander is a future star, no question. His match against Kota Ibushi was one of the highlights of the CWC, and he’s able to look good even in defeat. A couple more years of experience to refine his persona and get even more comfortable on the mike than he already is, and he’ll be main-event caliber one day.

Ariya Davari is a decent heel, no real complaints. I don’t see him rising above his current station anytime soon, but he’s been great in his role of helping Jack Gallagher get even more over than before, so that’s a good thing.

JACK. Oh my god, Jack Gallagher. He may be my favorite of the division right now. I loved every single thing he did in the CWC, but the moment that he tied Akira Tozawa into a indignant trapped knot of rage was the key point when The Extraordinary Gentleman leapt into becoming one of my top ten favorites of ALL TIME, possibly even in the top five. And he’s been on fire ever since. WWE clearly has big plans for him, and that is very wise of them — giving him showcase moments like his Gentleman’s Duel has worked out wonderfully, and he is without question the best promo of the division right now. I’m very curious to see if they’ll ever decide to have him challenge for the CW belt at some point, or if he’s going to be the foundation of the division’s upper midcard for awhile. Best of all, we’re going to get Tozawa back before long, and the idea of Tozawa and Jack either getting a rematch or becoming fire-forged tag buddies has me giddy with excitement. JACK FREAKING RULES.

And to top it all off, I love the announcer team. Cory and Mauro have a great chemistry, and Austin Aries has added a nice dimension to that as well, with Cory surprisingly effective as the “moderate” voice between the extremes of Aries and Mauro.

I love the cruiserweights, I really really do.

Just watched Hirooki Goto vs. Katsuyori Shibata from Wrestle Kingdom 11. I’ve not seen any Goto matches before this, but I like what I see.

His finisher is called the GTR — but I couldn’t find anything online that explains what those initials stand for. Anyone here know?

Quick question on wrestling technical details.

The “Coup de Grace”, Finn Balor’s (and others) jumping double foot stomp.

How in the hell does the attacker protect his target when doing this move? I’m watching the Kenny Omega / Kazuchika Okada match, and this move comes into play, and I cannot for the life of me work out how this move gets pulled off without causing real injury. What’s the trick? What am I missing?

A question here for folks who are in the know about the Professional Wrestling industry — this is research fodder for a story I’m working on.

If a person is missing the pinky and ring fingers from their left hand (the character is right-handed), amputated as the result of an injury several years prior — would this disqualify them from becoming a wrestler, or otherwise make learning the trade unusually difficult?

Happiness is finding your old copy of the 2002 cd-rom Archive of the original WRESTLECRAP website, and getting it to work on your computer again.

Good times. Good memories.

Wrestling-themed TMNT figures. I really want the Donatello-Undertaker one. 🙂

http://stillrealtous.com/wwe-teams-tmnt-new-crossover-action-figures/

The Four Horsewomen are The Beatles of wrestling right now.

Charlotte is Paul. The dynamic frontwoman who grabs the early attention, and has serious skill combined with an intriguing sense of vulnerability and nervousness when not on stage. If she plays her cards right, she could well have the most career longevity of the four.

Sasha Banks is John. The sly stylish one, the one with the most “mystique”. The favorite of many, she’s the one most likely to have been successful even without the rest of the group — but people are afraid that she’s going to die or get crippled young, cut off in her prime.

Becky Lynch is George. There’s a sense that she’s somehow the “least” of the four, not quite as showy or glamorous in some way — but those in the know can attest to her skill, dedication, and fully deserving of her spot in this pantheon.

Bayley is Ringo. The one who sometimes seems a little out of place, a little zany, a little awkward, and definitely the most outlandishly garbed of the four. But the crowds LOVE her, and even if she isn’t the most suave speaker, you can tell that she’s just having so much damn fun on stage that you can’t help but smile.

Sound about right?

I’ve just watched the first episode of TIGER MASK W, the new wrestling-themed anime.

It’s fascinating to watch a story about pro wrestling in this day and age that refuses to break “kayfabe”, while at the same time featuring cameos from actual real wrestlers, like “Rainmaker” Okada.

Makes me wonder why we don’t have more wrestling themed fiction that acknowledges the end of kayfabe, and tell more stories about the drama and politics of backstage combined with the action of the in-ring angles.