Another move: Affirm a Friend

Another move: Affirm a Friend

Another move: Affirm a Friend

In real life, I’m not sure why, but I have found that it is strangely rare for me and others to authentically affirm what we notice and admire in those we care about. Since I aim to play Epyllion with my family, I want the game to encourage and reward practicing this kind of sincere affirmation.

[I wrote this move assuming the idea of taking bonuses forward, but Epyllion may not have that concept, in which case, this move would need to be modified.]

What do you think?

Affirm a Friend

When you set aside time to sincerely affirm something you admire about another dragon in your clutch, roll +Gems (max +3). On a hit, your affirmation deepens your bonds and lifts your clutchmate’s spirits. Choose one:

—Give the clutchmate you affirmed +1 forward (+1 on one future roll)

—The clutchmate you affirmed may erase a Shadow if you return a gem

On 10+ the exchange also lifts your own spirits. In addition to the choice above, either take the other choice above or choose one of the following:

—Take +1 forward yourself 

—Erase a  Shadow if you return a gem

On a miss, your well-intended effort goes awry somehow, perhaps due to interruption, misunderstanding, or perceived insincerity. Choose one

—Take -1 forward (-1 on your next roll)

—Return a gem to the clutchmate you tried to affirm

—Mark a Shadow

10 thoughts on “Another move: Affirm a Friend”

  1. Suggested changes:

    Add cost of returning 1 gem

    10+: Choose 2 (include all 4 options)

    7-9: Choose 1

    The reason I say add a gem, is that at the moment this is the baseline cost of avoiding a Shadow.  So far in play I’ve found they haven’t been too hard to avoid, but taking them is a big deal.  Adding the gem cost puts a limit on the move by itself and encourages it to be used interspersed throughout play, instead of a quick round-robin of affirmations after a tough scene.

  2. Good points Garret Narjes! Thanks for the feedback from play experience.

    I guess I wouldn’t mind a 1 gem cost. I was mostly wanting it to be something that could happen frequently, since every use is a practice of the real life skill of affirmation that I am hoping for. Therefore, I also wanted it to be a move that’s available even when you have 0 gems from another person. Would it be better if only the “erase shadow” options come with the cost of 1 gem? “Erase a shadow and return a gem”

    I originally had all 4 options like you suggest with 10+=Choose 2 and 7-9=Choose 1. I changed it because I wanted the move to be primarily focused on serving others with personal benefits only as an unexpected or secondary bonus. I thought that the possibility of choosing only self-serving outcomes in place of others-serving ones seemed against the selfless spirit of what I hoped to encourage (which is the actual effort of practicing affirmation). Maybe I’m being a bit idealistic in that hope. 🙂 I just want to avoid someone saying, “Ok I say ‘Hey buddy, you were so generous with that bully back there and I love that about you. I hope I can be as powerfully generous as you some day.’ How nice of me. Ok I take +1 forward and erase a Shadow.”

  3. Could do something similar to:

    10+ Choose one:

    – Your ally erases one Shadow and you take +1 forward

    – Your ally takes +1 forward and you erase one Shadow

    You’d have to do different options for 7-9.  This doesn’t give you a completely selfless or selfish option, but it strikes a balance and prevents it from being one-sided.  There’s another option, but I’m trying to puzzle out the wording.  This is too complex IMO, but something like:

    On 10+ or 7-9, choose one:

    – your friend erases one shadow

    – your friend takes +1 forward

    On 10+ you also choose one of the following (different from above):

    – your friend erases one shadow

    – your friend takes +1 forward

    – you erase one shadow

    – you take +1 forward

    There’s also already a move to help a friend, which gives +1 to the result.  Essentially with no gem cost, this becomes a preemptive help a friend, with lower risk (you aren’t exposed to the danger on a 7-9 and get extra benefits on 10+).

  4. I’ve edited the version in the main post of this thread with a distillation of some of these ideas. I hope it’s not overly-complicated now.

    I like the gem cost for erasing shadow, since, fictionally, sometimes helping someone back to their truest self through some vulnerable sincerity can be stressful for the helper and perhaps messy or taxing for the relationship overall. I really appreciate the suggestions of alternatives. I’m always curious what rationale causes others to lean more one direction or another in design considerations, whether it’s to balance other means of moderating shadow or gaining +1, or aiming for incentivizing different player behavior or attitudes in play.

    In fact, thank you for bringing up the similarity and difference from the basic Help/Hinder move. I had overlooked how similar they were, and not directly overlapping another move (especially a basic move) is important. Since my main goal with the move is to encourage players to actually practice watching for and seizing opportunities to sincerely affirm others, I don’t mind that this move offers more reward with less cost. It could be argued that the Help/Hinder enjoys the bonus value of applying after another has rolled a move, along with the valuable flexibility of either helping or more potently hindering. I like that Affirming is a “safer” and pre-emptive route to mechanical bonuses, since then hopefully all players will get into a state of watching for opportunities to affirm, separate from just opportunities to share gems.

    On a more narrative note, helping/hindering doesn’t necessarily determine anything new about two dragons’ relationship (while most clutch mates might be expected to help each other, of course hindering someone often reveals new wrinkles or drama in a relationship). Meanwhile affirming another for a specific reason necessarily focuses on the emotional and identity-defining aspects of a relationship, specifically admiration and thoughtfulness. Plus I’d like to think taking +1 forward may result in a greater fictional tone of ongoing levity and intimacy than the Help move since the bonus may stick around for a while before it’s used, while helping/hindering applies only momentarily to whatever was just rolled. I’d like to think that +1 noted somewhere is like a warm-fuzzy afterglow that influences a dragon’s actions and attitudes whenever they remember the source of it.

    Once again, thanks for your feedback from actual play experience and alternative suggestions!

  5. No problem.  I had simultaneously come up with a similar move yesterday, but I like yours better.  A little more variety and better written.

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